The death of a family member is often difficult to cope with. There are times when someone is ill, and you know they may eventually pass. Other times it is sudden, leaving you shocked. Regardless of how they pass or the circumstances, it is never easy to deal with the passing of a loved one. Although, it is saddening some people may distract themselves by planning or assisting with planning the funeral. It is also a time for people to say their last good-byes. While different cultures may handle deaths differently, getting together with other loved ones, family and friends is still usually done during funerals. As people are sad, tear stricken and grieving, it’s nice to know that there are loved ones physically around to just be there and show up during the passing of loved ones. During these times, everyone is usually emotional and experiences many different emotions from sad, happy to anger. The list goes on.
But what do you do if saying goodbye is not an option? If you’re not able to be in the same place or room as your passing loved one. How do you cope when you can’t take comfort in being with loved ones to be consoled, to console them or both? Even something as simple as a hug means so much. There is much to be said about just being there for someone, even if no words are exchanged. Unfortunately, during this coronavirus pandemic, this is this reality that many people are facing. The one ritual of honoring their loved ones through funeral requests may not be possible. At times it may be even impossible.
As difficult as it may be, perhaps looking for alternative solutions can be an option. This may also help people to cope as they work on processing the death of their loved one. Just because you can’t do what was originally planned, is no reason why you still can’t do something. But what to do, what else can you do? You can still connect to others. Today we have many options of connecting with other even when we can’t physically be there for each other. Making an effect to still connect with others may be helpful to you or even someone else. Below are a few suggestions of ways to connect and other funeral alternatives for this time during the coronavirus pandemic.
Phone Calls and Video Calls
Picking up the phone and just calling a loved one is a great way to connect. Utilizing your phone to video call someone is even better. Today we have many different options to make free video calls such as Skype, Zoom, Facetime, WhatsApp and many other apps. Now is just as good as any to take advantage of these different communication methods. Imagine the joy and smile of video calling a grandparent or a child. Talking and seeing someone even if not physically may provide some comfort and happiness during these sad times. Even if you don’t know what to say, just making the effort to just be with someone on the phone says a lot. Some people may distance themselves from others and prefer to stay to themselves and that’s okay. Everyone grieves in their own way. It doesn’t have to be long at all. Even if the video call is made just to tell and show someone that you’re still here or to check on someone else.
Host a Family Video Call
Most people get together when someone passes. Whether it’s for the wake, viewing or funeral. People get together to show their love and support for each other. This doesn’t have to change, although the method may change. Why not set up a Zoom call for family and friends? Although not the same as in person, it will still allow everyone to connect with each other at the same time. People can verbally give their condolences, conduct a prayer, sing a song and even share their favorite memories of the loved one whom has passed away. Connecting this way may also provide healing for yourself and well as others. Being around and surrounded by family, friends and loved ones is so important. Even though you may not all physically be able to get together, there’s not reason that you can’t get together virtually.
Hold a virtual Funeral Reception
I know this may not be what you intended to do, have in mind or your preference; however, it is an option. Different cultures have different methods of honoring the dead or funeral processed. For some people it’s a celebration of their life and for others it a mournful occasion. It may even be a little bit of both for people. Think about the things you would normally do when someone passes. Why not create a virtual funeral celebration and develop a program? This could involve someone singing, playing the piano or soft music playing in the background. You can ask loved ones to read a poem, make a speech or share a few words. You may even be able to see if your pastor or a pastor can participate to give a sermon or share some words. It can be whatever you need it to be and give you and others something.
Live Stream a Funeral Service
Depending on the laws and what state you’re located. It may be possible for a few family members to attend a service at a location in person. What able live steaming some of this? You may want to start this after the coffin closes though. If you’re still able to have small funeral go ahead and have it. Plan out a program or have someone else write out a program. Family, friends and loved ones can send in poems to be read, stories to be to be shared and songs by them to be played. You may be able to live stream this to allow your family, friends and loved ones to be a part of it. There are many different platforms that you can utilize which also allow you to make it a closed event for whomever you chose to see it. You’ll definitely want to check with your funeral director and venue about this first.
Host a Virtual Repast
Maybe live streaming a funeral is not an option or something you want to do. That is completely understandable. What about hosting a virtual repast? Instead of live streaming a funeral, you can still incorporate some of the same elements into this. You can create an informal program for this. This may involve allowing family members to speak about the loved one or kids to create something to share. It’s a great way to let the elders speak, share some words and share some memories. You can even designate ahead of time someone to do a prayer. Depending on how many people would like to speak, you may want to create a list, put people in a speaking order and give them a time limit. Feel free to be creative with this.
Create a Video
Many times, family members make videos to play before, after or during the funeral. This usually involves pictures that they have collected and music consisting of the person’s favorite songs. Why not still do this? You can reach out to family, friends and loved ones to submit or send you pictures. Now would be a great time to go through your pictures and decide which ones you’d like to add. For music you can add the person’s favorite songs and songs that you would feel would be a good fit for this. If you like, you can even have people submit short videos of them speaking to be added to it. Once you receive all these things, you’ll want to put them all together to create a video. You can do this with different apps or have someone else compile it for you. When it’s completed, you can send it out to family, friends and loved ones. This could be a great memorial keepsake for yourself as well as for other people.
Grieving During the Coronavirus Pandemic
Grieving the death of a loved one is always difficult. It may be even more difficult due to the coronavirus pandemic. You may feel at a lose at what to do and probably want to do something. Don’t let the pandemic take that away from you too. Find something to do. Whether it’s one of the methods mentioned or another method. It won’t solve everything or make things magically better, but it can be a beginning to the grieving and healing process. Everyone is different and handles grief in their own way and that is okay. Just remember to stay connected with each other somehow and check in on each other. You never know how it may help you or be a blessing to someone else.
