As we approach the end of the year, we enter the holiday seasons. Typically, the holiday season is seen as a time of happiness, a break from work and getting a chance to spend time with loved ones. However, it can also be a time of sadness, a time to reflect and a time of grieving. Unfortunately, many people nowadays may be experiencing both the joy and sadness. The holidays can bring many different types of emotions with it. People usually struggle with handling grief during the holidays.
This holiday may also be especially difficult for some people due to the present coronavirus pandemic. The past year and a half the pandemic have had a great impact on grief and loss. Many people died due to COVID-19, some people died sooner due to it and other deaths weren’t directly related to COVID-19. Regardless, COVID-19 has affected the people left behind to grieve. Due to the high risk of COVID-19 and it being highly contagious, many people had to say good-bye to loved ones over the phone or virtually. There also may not have been able to have funerals, attend funerals or were only allowed a modified funeral. But how do you say “Good-bye” when you can’t say “Good-bye?”
Part of the grieving process here in America consists of having a funeral which allows for some people to say their last good-byes. For many people it also helps to provide closure. This can help people as they are now entering into the grieving process. Regardless, of when your loved ones passed away, handling grief during the holidays is never easy. Many people struggle with this. This will be the first holiday without loved ones for many people. Unfortunately, some people may still be grieving the death of loved ones who have passed away in prior years.
There are a few things that you can do to prepare for the holidays or throughout the holidays. Try some of these strategies for handling grief during the holidays. You may find yourself drawn to certain ones.
Strategies for Handling Grief During the Holiday
- Decide how you’d like to celebrate or not celebrate the holidays.
- Many people have holidays traditions that they do during the holidays. Some of these traditions may revolve around certain people or certain people may play a big role in these traditions. When a person who may have played a huge role in a tradition is no longer here, that may be exceedingly difficult for the whole family. It’s okay if you’d like to switch things up, develop new traditions or even to just not do that tradition. Perhaps, you decide not to celebrate the holiday because it’s too soon. That’s okay too. If you do decide not to celebrate the holiday, I would suggest planning something else to do so that you don’t become sad to the point of depression.
- Take time to remember the loved ones who are no longer here
- Most people get sad or tearful when they think about the loved ones who are no longer alive. Some people may even cry. As sad as it may be to think about them, chances are most people want to remember them and may hard a hard time figuring out how to do this. A few ways to remember loved ones are to watch a video of them, share stories about them, look at pictures of them, light a candle in their honor, cook or bake their favorite holiday food, visit their grave site, support a cause that mattered to them, write or read a poem in their honor, read a passage in their honor or hold a memorial service for them.
- Take time to enjoy the loved ones who are still alive and well
- As hard as it may be to continue celebrating the holiday due to loved ones who have passes away, it’s also important to take time to enjoy the loved ones who are still alive and well. This is especially important when it comes to children. Children need to still feel loved and like they matter. Chances are there still may be many people who care about who are still alive. Why not do something or include them in your holiday traditions to show them that they are still loved while they are still living.
- It’s okay to change your mind
- Traditionally, people prepare for the holidays. This may involve cooking certain foods, going somewhere, hosting people, decorating, visiting people, hosting guests, doing certain traditions or purchasing certain items. Sometimes planning can be as much work as carrying out what you’re planning to do. If you’re also still grieving during this time, it may feel emotionally overwhelming too. There’s no need to stress yourself out or emotionally tax yourself. It’s okay to change your mind. Even if you really want to do something but are unsure if you’ll have the mental energy to fully engage or find yourself feeling flooded with emotions. It’s okay. I would suggest letting someone know as soon as you know, so they can plan and adjust accordingly.
- It doesn’t have to be perfect
- People have a habit of overcompensating when they feel bad, can’t do something they wanted to do or if it doesn’t turn out how they’d like it too turn out. I’d like to let you know that it doesn’t have to be perfect. Expecting yourself to perform at your same level, during the holidays and while you’re still grieving is a lot of unnecessary pressure. There’s no need to add unnecessary stress. So, if you forget a food item, bake less deserts, don’t make all the usual dishes, do less decorating, don’t get everyone exactly what they want, or the meal is served later; chances are everyone will still be okay. The people who genuinely love you will understand.
Although, handling grief during the holidays may be tough, hopefully you’ve discovered a few strategies to help you to get through them. Each person is different and handles grief differently. Some strategies may work better for some people and not so well for other people, but that is okay. Perhaps, you’ve discovered other strategies to assist you through the holidays as you grieve. The important thing is to find out what works best for you during the holidays.
